How to Choose a Funeral Home in Advance
Choosing a funeral home while you're grieving is like shopping for a car with a salesperson standing over your shoulder, but you’re, of course, in an even more emotionally vulnerable space.
You're exhausted. You have no idea what anything should cost. And you have the weight of doing right by your loved one.
So, sparing your loved ones from this situation is very much an act of love.
Why This Matters
In your End-of-Life Matters Packet, there's a line that says: "My preferred or pre-arranged funeral home or mortuary:"
That blank line is a gift to your family. Because when you die, someone has to call a funeral home to transport your body, handle the death certificate, and coordinate disposition (burial, cremation, etc.). If you've already chosen one, they're not scrambling through Google reviews at 2 a.m.
You don't have to pre-pay or pre-arrange everything (though you can). You just need to pick a place and write it down.
What to Look For: A Quick Checklist
Not all funeral homes are created equal. Here's what matters:
✓ Services You Actually Want
Do you want cremation? Make sure they offer it.
Want a green/eco-friendly burial? Not all funeral homes do this.
Want refrigeration instead of embalming? Many don't offer it—ask specifically.
Planning a home wake or family-led service? Some funeral homes support this; others don't.
Check your packet: Look at the Last Wishes for My Body section where you indicate your wishes for disposition (burial, cremation, body donation) and preservation (embalming, refrigeration, direct cremation). Your funeral home needs to support whatever you've checked.
✓ Transparent Pricing
The FTC Funeral Rule requires funeral homes to give you an itemized price list over the phone or in person. If they're dodgy about pricing, walk away.
Key questions to ask:
What's your basic service fee?
What does cremation cost (without a fancy urn or service)?
Do you charge extra if I bring my own casket or urn? (They legally can't refuse it, but some add "handling fees.")
✓ Location & Availability
Are they close to where you live or where your family will be?
Do they have 24/7 availability for body transport?
If you're planning a specific gathering (see the Schedule a Gathering section), do they have space for viewings, visitations, or services?
✓ Cultural or Religious Accommodation
If your faith requires burial within 24 hours, specific cleansing rituals, or other practices, make sure the funeral home has experience with your tradition.
✓ Gut Feel
This sounds soft, but it matters. Do they treat you like a person or a transaction? Would you trust them with your family in their worst moment?
How to Research Your Options
Okay, here's your action plan. Set a timer for 30 minutes and do this:
Step 1: Make a short list (5 minutes)
Google "funeral homes near me" or ask friends/family for recommendations.
Check if any are affiliated with your faith community.
Look for funeral homes that explicitly mention the services you want (cremation, green burial, refrigeration, etc.).
Step 2: Call 2-3 places (15 minutes) You don't need to visit in person yet. Just call and say:
"Hi, I'm pre-planning and would like some basic information. Can you email me your general price list? I'm considering [cremation/burial/green burial]. Do you offer [refrigeration/home wake support/whatever you need]?"
Good funeral homes will happily send you info. Pushy ones will try to get you to come in for a "consultation." You can, but you don't have to.
Step 3: Compare and decide (10 minutes) Look at pricing, services, and your gut reaction. Pick one. You can always change your mind later.
Step 4: Write it in your packet (2 minutes) Open your End-of-Life Matters Packet to the Immediate Actions After I Die section.
"My preferred or pre-arranged funeral home or mortuary:" [Name, phone number, address]
If you've pre-arranged and pre-paid, also note that. If not, just write "preferred" so your family knows this is your choice but nothing is locked in.
Deciding Whether or Not to Pre-arrange/pay
Pre-arranging means you sit down with the funeral home, pick out exactly what you want (service type, casket/urn, etc.), and lock in pricing. You can pre-pay or not.
Benefits:
Your family doesn't have to make any decisions.
Pricing is locked in (inflation-proof).
You get exactly what you want.
If you do this, make sure to check that box on page 7 that says: "Do not call 911 if this box is checked. I have pre-arranged for the funeral home or my own medical official to pronounce my expected death." Then write the funeral home's name and 24-hour number.
Risks and Precautions
Funeral home ownership changes: If the funeral home is sold, merges, or closes, it’s possible your prepaid funds may be hard to recover or transfer.
Limited portability: Contracts often tie you to a specific location—if you move or wish to be buried elsewhere, transferring plans can be difficult or costly.
Hidden fees or exclusions: “Guaranteed” price plans sometimes cover only part of the total service (for example, casket but not flowers or transportation). Be sure the contract is specific and save it for your loved ones to easily reference when needed.
Bankruptcy risk: If funds are not held in trust or properly insured, they could be lost if the provider goes out of business.
Loss of financial flexibility: Money pre-paid can’t be accessed for other urgent needs later.
Medicaid implications: In some states, prepaid funeral contracts affect Medicaid eligibility or must meet specific “irrevocable trust” standards to qualify as exempt assets.
Smart Safeguards
Check state laws. Funeral pre-need contracts are regulated by state law—confirm what protections exist (refund rights, transferability, trust requirements).
Insist on transparency. Request a General Price List (required by the FTC) and a written contract detailing exactly what’s covered.
Verify where the money goes. Funds should be held in a trust account or burial insurance policy, not directly in the funeral home’s general funds.
Confirm portability. Ask if the plan can transfer to another funeral home or state without penalty.
Inform your family. Store documentation with your estate plan and ensure loved ones know the details and contact person.
Consider alternatives. You can set aside funds in a payable-on-death (POD) account specifically designated for funeral expenses—maintaining control and flexibility.
Our Opinion
Pre-paying can bring peace of mind if done through a reputable, transparent provider under well-regulated conditions. But in many cases, simply pre-planning (documenting your wishes and setting aside funds separately) gives nearly all the same benefits without the long-term financial risk.
The Bottom Line
You don't need to have your entire funeral planned today. You just need to answer one question:
"If I died tonight, which funeral home would I want my family to call?"
Pick one. Write it down. Done.
That's 30 minutes of work that will save your people hours of stress, confusion, and decision-making when they're least equipped to handle it.
Your Next Step: Set that timer. Make those calls. Fill in that line in your packet. You can do this today.
Questions to consider:
What's most important to you: cost, location, specific services, or something else?
Have you told your family which funeral home you prefer, or is it just written down?
If you've already pre-arranged, does your packet clearly say so?
Resources referenced:
FTC Funeral Rule (consumer protection for funeral purchases)